Day -1

17/08/2011 - Day -1

For a last minute decision to join M on a mammoth cycling trip across Europe everything had been going well, flight booked, car to be delivered to the house, bags packed. Then the phone rang!

There is a problem with my driving licence; the ‘system’ will not authenticate it. For all those of you who have heard this line before you know what this means; some bureaucrat living in the rarefied air of government has written a directive that affect millions of people and they have no idea of the problems they cause.

In this case it is the address on my driving licence. I have been living and working abroad for about 10 years now. While living in France I lost my UK licence. Like a good citizen I reported it to the police (plus, if you are driving in France you need to have your licence on you). I thought it was a bit complicated, all that paperwork, but you know the French! I also informed DVLA so they could cancel it, just in case it was used to gain entry to the UK by some illegal immigrant.

DVLA sent me back a nice letter saying it was not able to issue a replacement licence to a foreign address, but, if I took the enclosed form to the French authorities, they would give me a nice, new, shiny French licence. So, this is exactly what I did, and I drove on my French licence for the next 5 years.

In 2008 we returned to the UK and I thought, ‘aha I can get my UK licence back’. Which I did; a new credit card size one with that stupid piece of A4 paper. Problem solved.

Two years later we moved to France again and sold the house in Kent. As a result, somewhere in the deepest bowels of Whitehall my licence was deactivated as I now lived abroad again.

This is where it all starts to fall apart. I have come back to stay with my father for a few weeks before the trip, using his home as a contact address. Nothing difficult so far or so you might think. I have given this address to everyone and there have been no problems.

When I booked the car I gave all the usual details, name, address, credit card, etc. Everything was fine until they did this new Authentication Check. In effect they check the detail you have given about your licence against their computer, and…….. I failed.

Because I left to live outside the country my licence is invalid!

So now panic sets in. How can I resolve this, who do I call? At 4pm there is little chance of sorting this until tomorrow, but I am supposed to be on the road at 4am in the morning! Then I have a bright idea; can I use my French licence? Oh yes, that will be no problem comes the reply.

So 20 minutes later, there I am using the same details, renting the same car but on my French licence (which also has an old address on it). Problem solved.

But…..

If I am stopped by the police for any reason, and I show them my UK licence I am liable to a fine of up to £1000. If I show them my French licence instead, nothing happens. Where is the logic in that?